What Is ‘Monkey Branching’?

From “loud looking” to “shrekking” to “retromancing,” there’s no shortage of buzzwords to describe different approaches to dating in the modern age.

But while some of these trends encourage healthier communication and connection, others fall squarely into toxic territory. One clear example on the latter front is “monkey branching.”

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So what exactly is “monkey branching,” and how does it impact relationships? Below, experts break down what this problematic approach looks like, why people do it and what to do instead.

What is “monkey branching”?

“Monkey branching is when a person stays in their current relationship, even though they know they want to leave, in order to line up their next partner,” said clinical psychologist Sabrina Romanoff.

The idea is that by monkey branching (or “monkey barring”), you can avoid having to be alone after a relationship ends. There’s no real “break” after the breakup, as you’ve already formed romantic interest in someone else.

“It’s the ‘I’ll leave … once I have a backup’ approach to dating,” said Priya Tahim, a licensed professional counselor. “Monkey branching is having one foot in a relationship and another foot in a potential future one.”

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She described the phenomenon as staying “half-in” your relationship while “quietly auditioning” a potential new partner.

“This can look like having a partner while getting to know someone new through flirting, emotional texting or sharing private struggles in your current relationship,” said Julie Nguyen, a dating coach with the dating app Hily. “It begins emotionally as your energy and investment shifts away from the relationship you’re in.”

In this way, monkey branching is a form of emotional cheating.

“This person tends to rationalize their behavior as ‘keeping their options open,’ but it has a paradoxical effect, as the urgency with which they need to find a new person limits their ability to truly find the right partner for them,” Romanoff said.

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What drives this behavior?

“Monkey branching is just fear of being alone dressed up as ‘dating strategy,’” Tahim said. “It says someone can’t fully commit, won’t sit with discomfort and would rather keep a safety net than actually show up. It screams commitment issues.”

She added that people turn to monkey branching when they lack the skills to end things honestly as well.

“They often lack self-trust and have little confidence in their ability to manage being alone and being able to regulate their emotions independently,” Romanoff said. “They don’t give themselves the space to sit with and process their emotions, and instead are looking for an immediate distraction or replacement.”

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Ending something without knowing what comes next may feel unbearable for people with an intense fear of being alone and/or dealing with uncertainty.

“That’s very human, but it can still be painful for everyone involved,” said Sarah Barukh, a therapist with Kindman & Co.

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What does it lead to?

“This avoidance can erode trust in the existing relationship and deny the partner a clear, respectful ending,” Nguyen said. “When someone moves from connection to connection without pause, there’s little space for emotional processing or closure. Unfinished dynamics get carried forward, and what’s unresolved often gets repeated.”

Thus, monkey branching creates a vicious cycle of quickly jumping from relationship to relationship ― often with people who aren’t a good fit ― just to avoid being alone.

“Honestly, it’s a recipe for disaster, and it wrecks trust because no one feels chosen when someone is always reaching for another branch,” Tahim noted. “The impact is severely broken trust, major insecurity for the partner stuck waiting and a relationship that’s always half-empty.”

Monkey branching violates ethical boundaries and reflects a lack of emotional accountability and relational integrity.

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“Many people think of cheating as only physical, but emotional investment and intention matter just as much,” Barukh said. “Ideally, people consider how their partner might feel about connections that start to cross into romantic or ****** territory. When someone starts emotionally investing elsewhere before ending their current relationship, it can create a lot of insecurity and make it harder to build trust and vulnerability.”

She added that monkey branching sends the message that moments of difficulty in relationships indicate that it’s time to move on, rather than opportunities to repair and grow.

“Most relationships go through stretches that feel hard or disconnected, and working through those moments is often what builds closeness,” Barukh said.

There’s a much healthier approach to ending a relationship and moving on.

“Whether a relationship is monogamous or some form of non-monogamy, there is still an agreement about honesty and care,” Barukh said.

To that end, it’s better to address challenges head-on, rather than act dishonestly in secret.

“The healthier path would be to sit through the discomfort of having a clean breakup, which is having a hard conversation and then feeling the painful ending that’s needed to grow,” Nguyen said.

This requires openness and honesty about the misalignment in your current relationship.

“Be honest, period,” Tahim advised. “Telling the truth with clarity and kindness beats playing games or leaving someone hanging. Doing it this way lets both people actually move on instead of staying stuck in someone else’s emotional mess, or worse, be the cause of someone’s emotional distress.”

There’s integrity in a direct, honest approach, though it requires courage.

“It’s hard, but it’s far more respectful than slowly detaching while building something elsewhere,” Barukh said.

Another benefit is that it gives you the opportunity to process the end of the relationship and be single before jumping into something new.

“Discomfort is part of that process, but it is also where self-awareness and emotional maturity develop,” Nguyen said. “Taking time to reflect on what worked, what didn’t, and what patterns you want to shift creates stronger foundations for future relationships.”

Moving forward with intention instead of overlap allows you to build a more solid connection in your next partnership, she added.

“When you give yourself time to grieve the loss of a relationship, you can also have time to reflect on what you gained ― lessons, insight, knowledge,” Romanoff said. “So you can feel more empowered as you embark on the dating scene, instead of desperately feeling motivated by fear.”

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