These 31 Hysterical Fails From Last Week Have Me Wheezing So Hard I Seriously Need My Inhaler

Editor’s Note: While we can’t endorse what X has become, we can bring you the fun moments that still exist there, curated and free of the surrounding chaos.

Welp, it’s Monday again. It seems like my attempts to free us of Monday’s grasp have been futile thus far. But today, I announce my newest idea: adjusting the Earth’s rotation! I just need everyone to jump at the exact same time. So jump…NOW! Oops, we missed it. NOW! Hmm. Let’s try once more…NOW! Okay, this isn’t working as I’d planned. While I try to figure out what’s going wrong, these 31 hilarious fails from last week should get us through:

1.There actually should be a treat in there.

2.She was just checking out the KitchenAid attachments.

3.Cheesecake just doesn’t go well with movie hot dog flavor.

4.It’s…for someone else!

5.This is my business-casual midriff.

6.Gregory, these people are keeping you alive!

7.Reforming tuna into a fish shape is truly inspiring.

8.A sentimental person’s work is never done.

9.At least he didn’t say, “I don’t know, what do you want?”

10.Chicago is the center of the universe, confirmed.

11.I think scratching it out might just make it worse.

12.The Labubu is just, um…sleeping.

@luvmoonv / Via x.com, @luvmoonv / Via x.com

13.I thought all children were sweet and innocent!

14.There are just some jobs AI can’t do.

15.Is this about me?

16.“Excuse me, my political candidate is up here.”

17.When you gotta know, you gotta know.

18.Were they pulling you out of a DeLorean for time traveling?

19.It’s either that or they’re using you as an armrest.

20.You’re gonna have to get a job to pay for those shirts, buddy.

21.Das est EST, ja.

22.It’s toast, my dude.

23.These are actually reasonable goals.

24.Home ownership, home schmownership.

25.Asking for a friend: Is it still possible to burp while someone’s hands are in your mouth?

26.Appreciate your help on that one.

27.There is no way this is going to end well.

28.Summer heat is a good reason to use those little paper toilet seat covers.

29.And I’m awarding myself the “Best Writer Sitting in My House This Afternoon” award. Yay, me!

30.The lion will very soon learn that the check engine light is, indeed, cause for concern.

31.And finally…guess he should have stayed with his original handle.

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