Surgeons And Medical Personnel Are Revealing The Strangest Objects They’ve Removed From Patients’ Bodies, And Now I Can’t Sleep

I made the mistake of asking medical professionals in the BuzzFeed Community to share the strangest objects they’ve removed from a patient’s body, and it got VERY NSFW in the replies.

I apologize in advance. Here’s what they said:

Note: Some responses have been edited for clarity. 

1.“A white squash from a patient’s rectum.”

“When asked, ‘Why?’ the patient responded that it was a unique challenge. Removal was certainly also a unique challenge.”

—Anonymous

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2.“[I removed] an entire toothbrush — bristles and all — from a patient’s urethra.”

“For those that don’t know what a urethra is, it’s a DUDE’S PEE HOLE!!!”

—Anonymous

3.“I worked in medical imaging at a hospital when we were still hanging films. It was one of my favorite jobs, sitting in a quiet room just hanging X-rays for my radiologists to read. One of my favorites, though, was hanging an abdomen film and seeing the figure of a person bowling.”

“Apparently, the person had inserted a bowling trophy into their ass, and it had broken off inside of them.”

—Anonymous

4.“ER nurse for 10 years. We manually removed a Q-ball and an 8-ball from a gentleman’s rectum. Got that one in the corner pocket.”

—Anonymous

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5.“Hi, surgery here. I’ve removed bathroom air freshener cans, potatoes, light bulbs, hairspray caps, and quite a few various styles of sex toys. All from the rectum.”

“Ninety percent were men. Please tie a string to it, y’all. Otherwise, I’ll see you on my table.”

—Anonymous

6.“Removed a 10 mm combination wrench from a gentleman’s urethra. Self-inserted.”

—Anonymous

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7.“Immediately, what comes to mind is a 15-inch vibrating women’s toy.”

“Of course, the vibration made the toy blurry, but it was clear that it was battery-operated. This was the 1980s.”

—Anonymous

8.“Surgical tech here. A sweet potato carved into a phallus shape, an antique table leg, a glow-in-the-dark double dong, and a Coke bottle all mysteriously found themselves in the asses of patients.”

“Also, a fishing lure in the urethra of a very old man who seemed as surprised as we were when he saw the X-ray.”

—Anonymous

9.“Oh Henry! chocolate bar. They used it as a sexual choice in the vagina, and it went all the way up where it didn’t belong. People don’t realize chocolate melts.”

—Anonymous

10.“I’m completely serious when I say this, but once I found a whole bag of jellybeans in someone’s rectum. No idea how they got it up there.”

—Anonymous

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11.“Toilet bowl brush…the bristles went in first.”

—Anonymous

12.And finally:

“Back in the day, Flintstones chewable vitamins were a thing. Taken by mouth, one at a time, by kids. A gentleman decided to place a full bottle the other direction, which slipped all the way in. Easy to diagnose when you see Fred and Barney very clearly on an X-ray. Poor guy. 😢”

—Anonymous

Well!

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