People Are Revealing Experiences That Are Actually Way More Traumatic Than Others Realize

I think it’s safe to say we’ve all experienced things that have stayed with us, but some experiences leave way deeper marks than we expect. Now, I am not talking about things that we traditionally think of when we talk about trauma (like the sudden loss of a loved one). I am talking about something that might seem small, inconsequential, or ordinary on the surface, but it stays with you for years. A single comment or action can quietly shape how you see the world. Often, people who haven’t experienced it don’t realize how deeply it can affect you.

Recently, redditor Express_One_5074 wanted to hear about those experiences when they asked: “What’s more traumatizing than people realize?”

The thread got thousands of replies. Below are the top and most often repeated things people said are more traumatizing than others think:

1. “Workplace bullying or toxic environments, sometimes you can feel undermined or humiliated by your higher-ups. There’s a lot of pressure to perform well, and others can power-trip on you, which takes a huge toll on mental health.”

—s2itsMaya

“It also erodes your confidence in your own abilities, and you start to internalize their beliefs about you.”

—Fragrant-Actuary-391

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2. “Not being believed. Having the courage to report to a parent/ teacher/cop/etc., and not being believed. When bad things happen in the future, the person won’t want to tell anyone because the pain of not being believed is soul-crushing.”

—Adisney990

3. “Being raised in poverty, and I’m not talking about ‘Oh, I can’t afford an iPhone, so I have an Android.’ I’m talking about eating the same barley soup for years and years over and over again because there’s no money for something else. Or being afraid every night you go to sleep because you live in a rough neighborhood where if someone sees you have more than they do, they’ll get inside your home and steal the few things you have. Hearing people getting robbed or stabbed in the street in front of your house, wondering why your parents would decide to have you in these conditions, and hating every second of your life. It really traumatized me.”

—thelatinbarbie

4. “Emotional neglect as a child.”

—dragonfly-1001

“It’s not talked about enough, honestly. Being physically and emotionally abused is awful. But if you could go missing for days at a time and your parents didn’t even notice or care, it hit different. Bonus if your cries for help were blown off by your parents by saying, ‘I just assumed you weren’t that bright,’ regarding you missing school assignments and skipping school to see if they’d even notice. One time, I drank nothing but Vanilla Coke for a month straight to see if my mom would notice. She didn’t. I was 9. It was stupid, but I was just a kid who wanted the people who were supposed to care more about me than anyone in the world to notice that I EXISTED.”

—desolatedisaster

5. “Favoritism in children from parents.”

—Open_Constant3467

6. “Your parents arguing in front of you, literally didn’t know people had parents who didn’t argue in front of their kids until I heard my sister’s husband say he never saw his fight.”

—Flat_Accountant_6590

“I was stuck being a marriage counselor and referee most of my childhood. Yeah it sucks.”

—Falconflyer75

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7. “Walking on eggshells at home and having your family make you feel like the issue in question is your fault.”

—bluetuba24

8. “Silent treatment.”

—RareLeadership369

“Silent treatment from a partner is the cruelest thing to me. I’d rather argue or yell our feelings at each other, anything but nothing. It makes me so irrationally distressed, I can’t explain it.”

—circa_moon

9. “Chronic pain, not only because of the literal physical symptoms, but from navigating a health care system that often takes years to give you any meaningful answers while you watch pieces of your life dissolve, not knowing if they’ll come back.”

—ksb_blossom

10. “Moving often.”

—Adventurous-Mall7677

“Thaaank you. I’m at 56 give or take, and just the thought of inevitably having to move again makes me feel sick to my stomach.”

—sassydegrassii

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11. “Losing a pet unexpectedly. It feels like a small part of your heart is missing, and people often don’t understand how deep that hurt can go.”

—Relevant_Wedding3812

12. “Being the parentified older sibling. I used to feel proud of the fact that I knew how to take care of a baby/toddler when I was a teenager. Now I realize I maybe shouldn’t have had responsibility like that when I was a child myself.”

—Tyrianne

13. “Consistently being yelled at. I still flinch when people raise their voices cause my dad did it all the time. Even though I haven’t been yelled at like that in years by him, I’m still slightly scared to ever be around him.”

—fluffycloud74

“Same, even today, someone raising their voice at me makes me go from 0–100 in a second. “

—Thamnophis660

14. “Living with a pest infestation. I’ve lived in two places where there were pest problems, now, and one of those was several kinds of pests, and it fucks with you. You’re bracing yourself every time you open a cabinet. Your heart rate spikes every time you feel something brush against your leg. You turn on the lights, expecting to see them scatter.”

—TadpoleJackson420

15. “Empty nest. You spend years pouring yourself into these little ones to make them productive and independent and then POOF! They leave and you’re both proud and devastated. It’s very weird and causes a lot of cognitive dissonance.”

—RainbowBrite1122

16. “Being infantilized. It’s more so frustrating, but yeah, it can be traumatizing.”

—Temporary_Owl_4570

“Yes! I am 30 years old and I still feel like I will get in trouble for stupid things. I live by myself and I still feel stressed if I go shopping after work or go out with friends from work. I wasn’t allowed to do anything as a teenager.”

—ExtremePotatoFanatic

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17. “Bullying. So many people downplay just how bad it can fuck you up to be bullied as a child. I’m in my 20s and still trying to unpack all the damage.”

—gutwyrming

18. “Being cheated on.”

—Mrs_Barton20

“Yes. He came home, sat me down, and told me he was leaving. I figured out in the middle of the night that there was someone else, and he confirmed it.

It was out of the blue, though in hindsight, there were signs. It will be 10 years in March, and I haven’t been on so much as a date. He was the sweetest man alive; if he could cheat, who else could I trust?”

—MsBethLP

19. “Long-term unemployment. Financial stress, impostor syndrome, housing and food uncertainty, dehumanizing unemployment ‘services,’ near constant job searching (10-plus hours a day), career path degradation…”

—fallwind

20. And lastly, “Burnout. Ever since recovering, I’m living a constant inner war between my need to perform/please and my fear of crossing my boundaries. I’ve never been the same, and in some ways, I’m ok with that, as I do take it easier, but sometimes I flashback to being in such a bad state I can’t function, and it makes me function less well.”

—Zhannii

You can read the original thread on Reddit.

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.

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