US Politics
Jon Stewart tears into ‘human flat tire’ Chuck Schumer over government shutdown
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The Daily Show host Jon Stewart has mocked Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer as a “human flat tire” over his and his party’s ineffective response to the U.S. government shutdown.
During his Monday night opening monologue, Stewart ran a clip of Schumer declaring at a press conference: “Democrats are adamant that we must protect the healthcare of the American people.”
The comic interjected: “If you had stopped there, that would be great, but you’re gonna keep talking aren’t you?”
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The clip continues with the veteran New Yorker turning to Minnesota Democratic Sen. Amy Klobuchar and joking: “New data came out today from KFF, and that is not Kentucky Fried French Fries. KFF… That’d be Kentucky French Fries, hmmm?”
Incensed by the childishness of Schumer’s gag in a moment of national crisis, Stewart asked: “Who is that joke even for? Six-year-olds who watch C-SPAN? What the f*** are you doing?!
“Chuck Schumer is a human flat tire. You just can’t… [impersonates Schumer’s voice] ‘Kentucky Fried French Fry.’ Look at Klobuchar! Poor Klobuchar. That is the face of someone who talked to their dad, who said, ‘Just please don’t do your Indian accent in the restaurant. That’s all I’m asking’.”
The host went on to label the Democratic leader “Hack-ie Mason” and complained at the end of his segment: “Look, I’ve given Democrats an enormous amount of s*** for their poor leadership, lack of specific and actionable plans, terrible messaging, abysmal wordplay – did I mention poor leadership? – but standing up for 75 million Americans in this moment, to defend the rights of people to go into a little less medical debt seems like the least they can f***ing do.
“And perhaps, maybe, that will remind the Republicans that their mandate wasn’t 100 percent. They’ve just caught a constitutional, administrative and logistics break.”
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This is by no means the first time Stewart has gone after Schumer.
The host has frequently mocked him in the past, often by perching a pair of spectacles on the end of his nose and imitating the Senate leader’s leaden and uninspiring delivery.
He has previously bemoaned Schumer’s lack of “rizz” and, after a particularly weak argument against President Donald Trump’s high tariffs on Canadian and Mexican imports in February, Stewart complained: “Democrats, can you please stop f***ing trotting Schumer out there every time Trump traverses into the unreal? He’s not good at this.
“What is the decision-making process here? ‘Hey, who should we get out there to effectively battle one of the most savvy presidential media manipulators in history? Oh, I don’t know, how about Schumer? He’s uninteresting, but at least he’s monotone. Oh wait, and Chuck, before you go out there, you look too young! Put on these readers and lower them on your nose. Perfect!’”
“Honestly, listening to Chuck Schumer speak on almost any topic makes me want to bomb Canada,” Stewart concluded.