As Lily from AT&T, I got harassing comments about my body. Sending flirty photos for philanthropy is helping me take my power back.

You probably recognize actress, comedian and activist Milana Vayntrub from her work playing AT&T saleswoman Lily Adams (think: sideswept bangs, a blue button-down) in the brand’s commercials. Vayntrub first took on the role in 2013, and spent four years charming viewers with her lighthearted, comedic personality. After taking a break from her spokeswoman duties, she returned as “the AT&T girl” in 2020. This time, however, the response to Lily, and thus Vayntrub, took a turn.

Suddenly, there was new, unwelcome attention on Vayntrub’s body, with people on the internet making lewd remarks about her breasts. Vayntrub, who both starred in and directed her AT&T spots, opted to show less of herself. But she didn’t back down — she’s been outspoken about the online harassment and her decision to hide her body. “You’ve lost the privilege of looking at it until I feel safe again,” she tweeted in March 2021.

These days, Vayntrub is using that attention for a good cause with the launch of Only Philanthropy. In contrast to OnlyFans (in which creators share exclusive, often explicit content with paying subscribers), Only Philanthropy is a mutual aid platform that encourages Vayntrub’s followers to donate to a cause of her choice in exchange for flirty (but not explicit) photos. In this interview with Yahoo’s Kerry Justich, Vayntrub describes how giving back has helped her reclaim agency when it comes to her body.

There were a few different things that were the seeds planted that then grew into Only Philanthropy. I had been doing fundraisers on Cameo that I’d been donating to different organizations, and it was effective in terms of raising money. I think fundraising with fans who want exclusive content is a great tool for making social change. However, it was so time-consuming to make a personalized video for each person.

After the [California] fires, I had participated in a few events to help. As I was talking to people who had lost everything in the fire, [it became clear that] what they really needed was money, and there weren’t a lot of nonprofits that were set up to support them. So I thought, How do we get money into these people’s hands? I heard about this one woman named Bridgette Bradley, who was living in Altadena. She’s a single mother with three children; her youngest has cerebral palsy. She was renting and didn’t have a big insurance payout, so I reached out to her. She needed a house with a bathtub because her youngest can only bathe in the bath. So I was like, OK, let’s just figure out how to raise $60,000.

I had been hearing about all the success that people are having on OnlyFans and, of course, that’s not a path for me. But I do find the empowerment that women feel from using something they have to get something they need. I think there’s just something really powerful in the ability to raise money quickly. So I had this idea for Only Philanthropy that was kind of a joke. It’s a spoof, like, what if we could do that, but for a cause without it ever being against my values?

That means no nudity, a fun photo shoot, surrounded by women, supported by women and things that feel good and fun. I know that my body will tell me if something is morally misaligned.

I did a photo shoot with my friend, Jess Purple, and I thought it would be funny if one photo was $69, just to relay that this is a bit, we are having fun with this. So we did that, and in four days we raised $190,000.

All the money went directly to Bridgette Bradley, who was able to use it to relocate, get a car that she desperately needed and reset her life to support her three children. What we did is still not enough, but this is one step to alleviate pressure.

I knew that my fan base was responsive [to this type of content]. I see the difference in what happens when I post a photo with text as opposed to a picture of my face. Also, when I was doing Cameo, I was getting more requests than I could handle. So I knew that there was a supply-demand issue there. I thought, what if I could do one photo shoot and that would be enough to fulfill the demand? I didn’t know that [the success] would happen. In Bridgette’s case, I figured I’m definitely going to contribute personally, but what else do I have access to? And what I have access to are these fans and followers online.

I’ve done surveys after [each of the two campaigns thus far], where there’s been a really positive response because people are excited to have an opportunity to do good. I have been in the nonprofit space for over 10 years. I was running a nonprofit when I was 12 years old for MS, and then when I was in my 20s, I started an organization that fundraised for the Syrian refugee crisis. There’s never been a lack of need, and I have always been attuned to it.

I get to use my passion, my hobby, the things I’m obsessed with, and share them with people who care about me while tuning them into what’s happening in the world. It will always be beneficial. People really feel good having an opportunity to help. I think it’s a natural human need to be of service, to contribute. This is just one way I’m giving people a small opportunity to do that.

‘The main difference is consent’

Previously, I was wearing a blue button-down, and I was being referred to as “mommy milkers” while I was pregnant, which felt like a bunch of infantile people grabbing at me while I was saying, “No, please don’t.” I was being harassed. I never invited anybody to comment on my body. Now I’m saying, “Here’s something that feels fair. Here’s us having a conversation around something that I enjoy doing that I am giving to you voluntarily, willingly, joyfully, that you can exchange in.” The main difference is consent.

I never said “don’t sexualize my body.” I have no control over what people do in their homes. What I previously said was, “I don’t feel safe. So I’m going to do what I have to do until I feel safe.” Here we are many years later, and I actually feel not just safe, but also I feel incredibly powerful in changing this exchange into not being a visual of thousands of grubby men grabbing at my body, but rather me granting them access to something that I feel safe and good giving them. And in exchange, they are helping a single mother of three or helping disabled people who lost their homes or, in the future, helping a women’s center, helping an animal shelter.

I’m posting photos that I chose, taken by friends I love as part of a project to raise money for people who need help. The images are cheeky and they’re curated and they’re consensual. They’re part of an experiment about what happens when we make the male gaze something useful. It’s changed from objectification to collaboration.

I also feel like it’s an emotional reframing. Where previously there might have been guilt or shame or secrecy in the scrolling and thirsting and lurking of men, we’ve turned it into something joyful and maybe even noble. Because it is still philanthropy and it’s with a wink.

In the feedback that we’ve gotten, it’s been really cool to see that the men who are participating care about a lot of different issues and are down to help. It does feel like I’m getting to alchemize something that was previously seen as potentially unsafe or toxic male attention and turn it into causes that can benefit the vulnerable. So that’s what we’re going to keep doing. We’re going to keep thinking about how we can make the most impact.

This has been edited for length and clarity.