8 Phrases To Shut Down Conflict That Instantly Make You Sound Classy

Even if you try your hardest, unfortunately, conflict is unavoidable in life. Whether it’s with family, friends, co-workers, your boss or your partner, confrontation and tense moments are guaranteed to happen. While conflict is inevitable, how we respond to it is in our control. Because if your natural inclination is to meet people’s energies in an argument, you might end up ruining your relationships. It’s possible to respond to arguments in a way that doesn’t alienate you from that person and still brings clarity to the conversation with respect. You just have to have a toolbox of phrases to help youshut down conflict while also sounding classy.

It might feel natural to go off on somebody, and to each their own! But there are lots of scenarios where that isn’t appropriate or it’s just not the best course of action. Maybe you can’t afford to make a bad impression because you’re in front of your new in-laws or in a business meeting. Or maybe you tend to feel depleted and uncomfortable when you walk away from an argument where you didn’t compose yourself. Knowing how to respond to someone who is pushing your buttons or causing conflict in a calm and appropriate manner can definitely be useful. 

To figure out how to do that, Parade spoke with Heidi Dulebohn, an International Etiquette and Soft Skills Development Coach and etiquette expert. She shares what “classy” even means, how to stay classy during an argument and phrases toshut down conflict that instantly make you sound classy. 

Related: 7 Nonverbal Cues That Instantly Make You Seem Classy

How Do You Define ‘Class’ or ‘Classy’?

Before we can get into how to respond to issues or conflicts with classy phrases, let’s define what “class” means. Everyone probably has a little bit of a different idea of what it means to be “classy.” Some people might connect it to social class, while others associate it with how nice or polite you are. Dulebohn, who has her own YouTube channel where she gives etiquette advice, tells Parade that to her, being classy has to do with how you treat others. 

“Generally speaking, I believe that having ‘class’ means demonstrating kindness, empathy and respect through your actions, particularly by being aware of and observing social and cultural codes,” she says. “It is about presenting your authentic self, encompassing your appearance, behavior and communication skills, rather than your wealth or social status.”

To this day, she still thinks about class in terms of how a “dear family friend” named Mrs. Weathers once defined it for her.

“Having true class is someone who can speak with equal ease and interest with any person, regardless of their station in life,” she told Dulebohn.

If you go about any innocuous conversation—whether it be with a boss or a stranger—with “kindness, empathy and respect,” and you find that you’re comfortable with both types of people, “you have real class,” Dulebohn says. 

Related: 9 Phrases That Give Off a Bad Vibe Without You Even Realizing It, According to a Psychologist

How Do You Stay Classy in a Conflict?

When tensions rise, though, staying “classy” can be tough. A lot of people lead with their emotions, and even if someone is better at emotional regulation, it can be hard to navigate disagreements in a way that comes off as polite, kind and neutral. Dulebohn shares with Parade that the “first rule of etiquette is never to offend.” But that can be hard if someone has very strong, differing opinions and stances.  

“Always try to be mindful that there are many different ideas and opinions, and yours may not necessarily be the best or the only one,” she says as her first line of defense when it comes to finding success during a dispute. “When you conduct yourself like this, you don’t have to worry about staying classy under challenging situations because this is second nature to you—it’s authentically you.”

And if you find yourself getting lost in conflict or it’s escalating too much, she recommends just taking a deep breath. Not just “taking a beat,” but if you physically inhale and exhale, it “can slow everything down and give you a moment to open your mind and listen,” she explains. 

Dulebohn isn’t recommending that you back down from your morals or change what you believe or your opinions. But being classy means that you kept your cool and at least listened.

“You may not have changed your opinion, but you stayed ‘classy’ by opening your mind, listening and not being offensive by saying something disparaging about their opposing thoughts,” she shares.

Related: 10 Things Classy Women Never, Ever Do in Public, According to an Etiquette Expert

8 Phrases To Shut Down Conflict That Instantly Make You Sound Classy, According to an Etiquette Expert

These first several phrases are great for responding to conflict in social situations.

1. ‘Help me understand what I’m missing.’

If you can feel like tensions are rising and that the person you’re interacting with is getting defensive, this phrase is a good place to start. Maybe they feel misunderstood and they’re getting worked up about it. Saying this can reset a conversation in a way.

“Genuinely be interested that you may not have the entire picture,” Dulebohn shares with Parade. 

We’re all human and fallible, so there is a likely chance that you can misinterpret something in an argument. Maybe you’re not seeing it from their perspective. This phrase allows them to reframe whatever it is for you, and it allows you to remind yourself to take a step back and see the full picture.

2. ‘I respect your opinion, and I appreciate that you appreciate mine, even though we don’t agree.’

If you feel like you are not getting anywhere in an argument or that there is no “seeing eye-to-eye,” this phrase is great and shutting it down. 

“Basically, agree to disagree, but the added gratitude keeps it ‘classy’ with respect,” Dulebohn explains. 

There really isn’t anywhere to go after you say this—unless they want to argue for the sake of arguing, in which case, you’re in a losing battle and should just disengage—making this a great way to steer the conversation elsewhere.

3. ‘This conversation is essential, but this isn’t the right time. May we meet later, when mutually convenient, to fully discuss it?’

If a conflict arises that you need to see through, but you feel like it’s not going anywhere productive, it’s okay to remove yourself from it. And this phrase is a good way to do it with class. 

“It’s all in the timing; any conversation deserves the proper timing and space,” Dulebohn says. 

Related: 11 Phrases To Use Instead of Automatically Agreeing With Someone—When You Actually Disagree, According to Psychologists

4. ‘I applaud the strength of your convictions.’

There are certain things that people can disagree on and still be friends or civil with each other. In a scenario like that, you can shut down any conflict relating to differing opinions with this phrase. 

“You recognize and compliment that someone stands firmly by their opinion, which may or may not be yours,” Dulebohn shares.

5. ‘Thank you for sharing your ideas. I need some time to reflect. Let’s continue this conversation at a later date.’

This is similar to a phrase above in that it puts an argument on pause so that you can revisit it and make it a conversation, instead. If you’re getting too heated or the other person is, this is a good way to make sure things stay classy and cute between the two of you. 

“You get out of the conversation being ‘classy’ by thanking them and saying you will think about what they said,” Dulebohn says.

6. ‘Let’s put a pin in this for now. We’re both getting excited, and you know how much I respect you, so let’s reevaluate a little later.’

A phrase like this is also similar in what it’s trying to accomplish: time to regroup and calm down. The added reminder that you respect them is great if this is a family member or friend. You don’t want to say something you can’t come back from.

“It’s starting to escalate, so be mindful and acknowledge the stress by saying you know I respect you, so let’s take this up again later when we’re cooler,” Dulebohn shares. “You don’t want to ruin a relationship in a heated moment.”

Related: 150 ‘Wondrous’ Aesthetic Words to Easily Elevate Your Basic, Everyday Conversations
Now we’re moving on to business or work conflicts. These two phrases will help you come out on top (and sound classy while doing it).

7. ‘I realize that we did not meet your expectations, for which we apologize. We value and appreciate your business, and we commit to meeting your deliverables and will do whatever it takes to get it done.’

It’s always good to apologize if something went wrong on your end. Again, we’re fallible, remember? It’s good to take accountability in general, but it also can come off as classy. 

“Don’t make excuses, admit that mistakes were made, but you’ll do what it takes to fix it,” Dulebohn explains. “Be grateful for their business.”

In business situations, you really don’t want to go off and lose a client or burn a bridge. Shutting something down in this way is sure to keep things civil going forward.

8. ‘I appreciate the work you did on this project. You identified some great points, but there may be another way to achieve our goal. Let’s work together to find the solution that works best for the client.’

Whether you’re managing employees or you’re leading a meeting, it’s always good to lead with kindness and class, even if someone else messes up or stumbles.

“If the team member makes some good points, then tell them, and then make it a learning experience and teach them how to achieve the best outcome,” Dulebohn shares. “This is a better approach than telling someone they did a terrible job and getting into a potentially defensive conversation.” 

Being harsh at work or in a business environment because someone screwed up a project or made a mistake is never the right move. Good leaders use compliment sandwiches, you know? And even if you don’t, it’s just better overall to try and keep things classy and civil, even if something is horrible. 

“If the project was a disaster, then you could say to the employee, ‘This isn’t your best work, and I know you can do better, so let’s get the team involved and find a more favorable solution,’” she says. 

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This story was originally reported by Parade on Sep 11, 2025, where it first appeared in the Life section. Add Parade as a Preferred Source by clicking here.