36 Things People Really, Really, Really Wish They’d Had A Head’s Up On Before Getting Pregnant And Having A Baby

Reddit user NovellaJokes recently asked, “Women of Reddit, what’s something they never tell us about pregnancy and childbirth?” Here are the fascinating, terrifying, and downright brutal things people shared in the thread:

1.“I feel like I was pretty prepared, but the one thing I didn’t know about was how the nurses will ‘massage’ your belly after giving birth to help the uterus go back down. I say ‘massage,’ but it’s more like aggressively kneading dough.”

—bumpercarbustier

2.“That you need to pack a bottle of gel-cap stool softeners (like Colace) and start taking them soon after you give birth. The first time you poop afterwards is really scary. You’ll be afraid you’ll rip stitches or something will fall out that’s supposed to stay in. You can get stool softeners from the hospital, of course, but at least here in the USA, you could probably buy a really great pair of shoes for what they’ll charge you.”

—Impossible_Balance11

3.“You can lose your teeth, or your teeth will decay easily. Like, no matter how well you brush, floss, rinse, etc. You will end up with cavities every time you see the dentist.”

—GoodAlicia

4.“Just how many weird symptoms can crop up. I got gestational carpal tunnel, and I was like, ‘This is a thing?!?’ The temporarily increased amount of liquid in your body squeezes the median nerve as it passes through the carpal tunnel. No one ever explained this to me, but during the last trimester, I lost the ability to feel the air temperature and tell if I was hot or cold. It lasted until about five months post-partum.”

—RishaBree

5.“The shakes you get. Not sure if it’s the adrenaline, the epidural, or both.”

—Ok-Statistician4517

“OMG, the shakes were one of the worst parts for me. I could barely hold my baby when they put her in my arms.”

—LaceUp-

6.“The sheer indignity of the whole process. Your cooter is out for everyone to see. You get it out at every doctor visit, and it’s obviously out during childbirth. If you have a C-section, at that time you are lying on your back after the spinal block, nurses are coming in and cleaning you up, all in your business. You can’t move or help because you’re basically paralyzed. Then, if you breastfeed, your boobs are out all the time. Motherhood really isn’t for those who are modest about their bodies.”

—Jeansiesicle

7.“Nobody told me I might throw up during labor. I was so mad. Labor AND vomiting? Whose idea was THAT, lol?”

—13surgeries

“I vomited for 12 hours. It was nothing but bile by the end. I also puked all over myself on the ride to the hospital. Big WTF moment.”

—AlwaysCold95

“I threw up the entire second day of my labor (long ass labor). Couldn’t even keep water down. A single sip and I was puking for five minutes every time! Nightmare, especially during a long labor.”

—Proof_Opportunity_58

“Omg, yes. I projectile vomited between pushes. I even threw up on my doctor’s head, lol.”

—Justcallmekasey

8.“You may get back to your pre-pregnancy weight, but whether you return to your pre-pregnancy shape is a crap shoot. My hips stayed wide, even at my lightest. Postpartum depression can just…not go away. I’ve been dealing with intractable depression since three days after my son was born. He’s 18 now. You will not know how to breastfeed (which you’ve probably heard). Neither will your baby. I mean, they’ll have a vague idea, but it takes practice to get it right. Demand equal help from your partner immediately and don’t let up. He works all day? Well, guess what? So do you. All that breastfeeding, changing diapers, and cleaning is WORK. You deserve breaks, too. Take them, or he’ll assume you’re ‘doing fine’ without them.”

—insertcaffeine

9.“You’ll likely go up at least one shoe width size, which may be permanent.”

—TheMoralBitch

10.“I was so embarrassed because I got an epidural, and when I was pushing, I had like, nonstop gas. I had no control over it!! Just nonstop toots. And I probably pooped, though my husband promised to never tell me if it happened.”

—electrical_Acadia_1

11.“There is a huge chance that you rip towards your anus. But there is also a chance that you rip upwards. And rip your clit in the process.”

—GoodAlicia

12.“Don’t get too attached to your birth plan because there’s a good chance that the whole thing will go out the window at any given moment. Also, no one warned me about the catheter.”

—keatonpotat0es

13.“C-section recovery. I didn’t anticipate having a C-section, but after 20 hours of labor, we had an emergency Cesarean. Nobody warned me about the recovery and how difficult it is to be recovering from abdominal surgery with a newborn.”

—question_girl617

“How quickly everyone loses sight of the fact you’ve just had major abdominal surgery when there’s a newborn to keep alive. I remember being a week post-surgery, still unable to lift stuff, and I asked my partner to bring a laundry basket into the laundry room, and he asked me why I couldn’t do it. Same with driving places. I had to repeatedly remind people I wasn’t cleared to drive. And some of their reactions were along the lines of: ‘Really? You’re actually not driving? Isn’t that overkill?’ One of my friends had to go back into the hospital because she forgot the stair rule and ran up a flight of stairs, tearing her stitches.”

—GlumDistribution7036

14.“Your water breaking feels like a balloon popped between your hips. The baby’s kicks feel like a baby kicking you. The whole ‘butterfly’ feeling lasts like a month tops. Then it’s just a whole ass kid kicking you from the inside out. It sounds magical, but it gets real old, real quick. Be prepared to be absolutely certifiable. I’m not an emotional person. I don’t have big feelings, and I certainly don’t cry in front of strangers. But here’s just a short list of some of the things that made me sob for minutes on end: Fried chicken was good. The cat meowed at a bird through the window. The Mars rover exists. A baby panda wasn’t born that day. A dollar store plastic spatula was bent. My husband said, ‘Hello, gorgeous.’ The store DID have peanut butter ice cream. My ceiling fan was off when I wanted it on.”

“Also, random strangers will touch you and ask you weird, personal questions. For some reason, there is a percentage of the population who seems to view pregnant people as public property, like a park bench or a stop sign, and feel that they have a right to comment and offer completely unsolicited and wildly unhelpful advice at any time. Learn the art of embarrassing them back. It’s hilarious.

If your belly skin itches, it means your skin is stretching a ton. Put some vitamin E oil on and DON’T SCRATCH! That’s how you get those deep, long stretch marks. Bathe in that stuff!”

—d0nt-be-an-oosik92

15.“You can get so exhausted between your contractions that you can start falling asleep. Then you’re shocked out of your droopy stupor by the next one.”

—Left-Ask1672

16.“You also have to push out the placenta after you’ve pushed out the baby.”

—disasterology1000

17.“How long you bleed afterward.”

—GirlWhoWoreGlasses

“And the AMOUNT you bleed. I was changing pads every hour, and that still wasn’t enough.”

—YouMustBeJoking888

18.“Pregnancy-wise: the heartburn. Oh my god. Probably one of my worst symptoms. Plus, being unable to eat anything tomato-based (including pizza and pasta) was devastating.”

—Defiant_Poet_8022

19.“The first time you poop after giving birth. Oh my god, it was right up there with childbirth.”

—breeeee27

20.“Nobody ever talks about the postpartum period, but as someone almost two years PP, you still get phantom baby kicks sometimes that’ll scare the hell out of you randomly! It didn’t start until about six months PP when my hormones started settling back down, but it’s absolutely wild and makes you second-guess every period you have afterwards!”

—TheGhostestHostess

21.“The intense night sweats after giving birth. This doesn’t happen to every woman, and it didn’t happen to me until about a week later when I returned home from the hospital. But every time I would fall asleep, I would wake up DRENCHED in sweat. I’m talking able-to-wring-your-clothes-out wet.”

—robinsparkles220

22.“A happy one: I didn’t realize until my second pregnancy that babies move differently. My first was a kicker and would regularly get hiccups. He was always moving. The second hardly kicked, but she liked to stretch and roll. Also, when they get big, you can see them move. I remember the horror in a colleague’s face when he happened to glance over as a little foot pushed out and traveled down my stomach.”

—coffee_and_physics

23.“No one warned me you can get varicose veins in your vulva when you’re pregnant. They are excruciatingly painful and may or may not go away once you give birth. If not, you have to have them STRIPPED.”

—pabstschmere

24.“How much your complexion can change. During one pregnancy, I had terrible breakouts. Another, the dryest skin imaginable. Another, somewhere in between.”

—NellieLovettMeatPies

25.“All the hair you lose in the months after giving birth. I had no idea and thought something was wrong.”

—Witty_Chicken_9307

26.“I had an easy birth and then some time after, I went to shower and I saw my eyes were bloodshot and there were red blotches all over my chest and lower neck. The midwife said it was quite fine and they’d be gone soon. I just ruptured some tiny blood vessels while pushing. Huh??? They WERE gone very soon, and it didn’t happen again with my second baby.”

—Mananni

27.“Your vision can change during pregnancy and breastfeeding. It literally changes the fluid balance in your eyeballs.”

—ThreeChildCircus

28.“After a certain point in your pregnancy, it’s this fun game of ‘Is this pee, my water breaking, or discharge?’ For the rest of the third trimester, I had to wear those disposable underwear/diaper things because my baby would kick and I’d pee myself a little bit.”

—CrockyCroc

29.“The moment I started showing, women came out of the woodwork to tell me their worst labor horror stories. Why. Why do we do this? When I talk with pregnant people now, I deliberately let them know my labor experience was good. Which is the truth, but also hopefully alleviates some anxiety.”

—The_Mouse_That_Jumps

30.“Excess saliva, restless legs at night, indigestion, exhaustion, and swollen everything during pregnancy!”

—Klutzy-Captain9013

31.“The. Ring. Of. Fire! I birthed my first naturally/no epidural, and oh boy, the pain of tearing flesh when he was crowning was something I was not prepared for! His head measured just above the 99th percentile, so he was humongous! Because it was so painful, I pushed when I should have let them ease him out, and as a result, I had a third-degree tear. When they say stop pushing, stop! And try and breathe through the pain (or scream as I did with my third) to not tear badly.”

—cheekyv86

32.“It felt like my organs were going to fall out of me every time I stood up for the first couple of days while things were settling back into place. Weird feeling.”

—PinkCupcke007

33.“Morning sickness is not limited to the morning. I’m currently pregnant with my second, and I am extremely nauseous all day long, to the point where I can’t do anything. Anti-nausea meds lead to extreme constipation, which you’re already prone to have during pregnancy. And OMG, those pregnancy poops are like practice for giving birth.”

—Intrepid-Picture-872

34.“Postpartum constipation is common. Include fiber and water in your diet to avoid getting anal fissures.”

—Independent_Row_6926

35.“The aversions! Cravings are one side, but there are things that I love, and then as soon as I’m pregnant, I can’t even think about eating or drinking without feeling sick. Didn’t expect that.”

—justlurking246

36.And: “That every time you go to the doctor for any pain, strain, pop, crack, or injury, it will be blamed on being pregnant at some point in your life.”

—Hairy_Indication9288

What’s something about pregnancy or childbirth you wish you’d been more prepared for or warned about? Tell us in the comments or share anonymously using this form.