27 Child-Free People Share The Wildest Things Adults Have Said When They Learned They Don’t Want Kids

Whether or not you choose to have children is honestly nobody’s business but your own, but that doesn’t stop other adults from weighing in with their unsolicited takes.

Considering this, I asked child-free members of our BuzzFeed Community to share the wildest reactions people and parents around them have had to their decision.

Here’s what they said:

1.“Someone I thought was a friend said, ‘I just can’t relate to a woman with no kids.'”

“She said it to my face, knowing I had already made the decision to be child-free. That was over a decade ago. I’m happily child-free, and we are not friends.”

—anonymous

2.“I got sterilized by choice when I was 23 years old. I told an aunt at a family function, and she politely asked why. I told her I thought the people who should be parents are the ones who really want them and dream about that sort of thing, and I just wasn’t one of them.”

“Her response was, ‘Well, I think children are a gift.’ OK… I never said they weren’t, and you didn’t hear a word I said.”

—anonymous

3.“My parents haven’t really pushed the issue, but my sibling, who already has three children, once (or twice) said, ‘Signs of a good sibling is to give them a niece or nephew. Are you trying to say I wasn’t a good sibling to you?'”

“Please don’t make me answer because, based on how we grew up, I have notes.”

—anonymous

4.“My own mother said that I would never know what real love was, and I could never be truly selfless. Mind you, I am married and love my husband, friends, and family. I volunteer at my church, I babysit my friend’s children, my niece and nephew love me, and I would absolutely take a bullet for any of the kids in my life.”

“My mother requires an excessive amount of parenting on my part. It took all my strength not to tell her that she is a big reason I don’t want kids. She is already jealous of my husband because he gets to be with me all the time. If I had a baby, she would never see me.”

—vvalentinebaker

5.“Being told, ‘Babysit my kids for the weekend… THEN you’ll want kids.’ No thanks.”

“I LOVE MY CHILD FREE LIFE, and NO, I’M NOT YOUR BABYSITTER. There are reasons why I don’t watch your kids for you, whether it’s for five minutes or for the weekend. I love my freedoms, thank you.”

—originalshield475

6.“‘You’re a beautiful girl, you know.’ What?? What does that have to do with anything?”

—anonymous

7.“An older female coworker said, ‘When you grow up, you’ll change your mind and want children.'”

“I was 36 and married with a house when we had this conversation. Not sure how much growing up I still had to do.”

—anonymous

8.“‘You’re ungrateful because God gifted you with a womb and you’re not using this divine gift.'”

—anonymous

9.“This was my biological father, whom I only saw once a year for my entire childhood, despite the fact that he only lived 45 minutes away… When I told him my husband and I didn’t plan on having kids, his response to me was, ‘The ugliest, most bitter people I’ve ever met are old ladies from church who never had kids.'”

“Then he went on to discuss my church attendance and give me more ‘sage’ advice. I wish I had told him I didn’t want kids because it was obviously in my DNA to not give a shit about them, since he was my dad.”

—grouchyeagle987

10.“‘That’s probably for the best.’ My mother thinks atheists shouldn’t reproduce.”

—anonymous

11.“An older coworker found out I’m single in my late 30s and asked if I was worried about not having kids.”

“I said I didn’t want any, to which they replied with ‘So your life isn’t worth living then?'”

—anonymous

12.“My husband and I are both educated, hard-working adults who work for low pay in nonprofit organizations. We are living into our callings and doing important, stressful work from dawn to dark that most people would not be willing to do.”

“When someone asked me when we were going to have babies, and I said that wasn’t for us, he told me I was selfish. Point blank, no joke. ‘You’re so selfish, you need to grow up.’ I turned around and walked away.”

—anonymous

13.“A woman told me that I should be fined monthly for not contributing to the future of our society.”

—anonymous

14.“‘Then why did you get married!?'”

—jbsavestheworld

15.“Not only am I child-free, but apparently being partner-free in my thirties is an affront to nature. The dramatic audible gasp and eyes going wide as saucers as I relay this information is both amusing as it is exasperating.”

“Then, of course, come the commiserating looks and, ‘There, there. You’ll find someone and start a family soon.’ I don’t even dignify that with a response because apparently, I have failed as a human being by not wanting to be in a relationship or raise a tiny human. But joke’s on them because I am happy as a clam, single and living alone.”

—ravenbard

16.“‘What do you do to find meaning in your life?'”

—rlmarlatt32

17.“One of my co-workers had decided that since I didn’t have children, I should work every holiday so parents like her could have it off.”

“Her statement was, ‘Since you don’t have a family, you should have to work.’ Fortunately, our boss saw it differently, recognized my family might not include children but included parents, siblings, nieces, and nephews, and made the co-worker work the next few holidays while I had them off.”

—anonymous

18.“My own mother: ‘You need help.'”

—anonymous

19.“‘But you’re so good with kids! You’re all of my kids’ favorite at the after-school program!’ Yeah, Bethany, because I am devoting 100% for four hours. I do what I do because kids deserve to be cared for. After that? I go home and chug alcohol to try and unpack the atrocities I’ve experienced, hoping to god your kid misses school the next day.”

“If I had a kid, they’d be the most neurotic, emotionally imbalanced wreck the world could possibly produce. You don’t know me, you know ‘work mode’ me.”

—anonymous

20.“‘Who’s going to take care of you when you get older?’ Yes, let me pop out some babies at 42 so they can take care of me when I’m old.”

—rae82

21.“I’m a 42-year-old childless male in Texas. I’ve always been open about getting a vasectomy more than 10 years ago, and the wildest reaction I get from parents is usually from mothers asking me to convince her male partner to get a vasectomy as well.”

“They also ask me how I got a vasectomy without having kids prior. I had to pay for it myself, since the health insurance did not consider it preventative healthcare.”

—anonymous

22.“I’ve never had a desire to have kids, and one day, my mom told me she blamed herself.”

“She said if she’d had more money for kids, I could have had a younger sibling and maybe had more desire to have a kid.”

—anonymous

23.“The worst is when they look at the woman and the woman ONLY, asking, ‘Don’t you feel unfulfilled? A woman’s whole reason for being on Earth is to bare children.'”

“This may be because I grew up in a very religious household, but being told that my only purpose on Earth is to squeeze out babies pisses me off to high heaven. Men NEVER get even the slightest insinuation that their lives will be incomplete or worthless if they do not ‘sire an heir,’ but how dare a woman want to live her life the way she wants to, and that want does NOT include children. I’m 39, single, childless, and DAMN HAPPY!!!!!”

—anonymous

24.“My dad told me it was selfish to deprive him of grandchildren, and in arguing with my mom about it, I found out she only wanted grandkids from me because my sister is autistic and she was ‘afraid she’d pass it on.'”

—anonymous

25.“I was told that I would make a mistake and get pregnant by accident eventually, which was insulting to my intelligence and assumed a lot of things about my lifestyle and personal choices surrounding body autonomy.”

“I responded, ‘If you think I’m that stupid, should I really be having children?'”

—anonymous

26.“I was talking to a friend I was having lunch with, and explaining I don’t want kids because I spent my own childhood raising other people’s kids. I didn’t get to go out with friends; I was babysitting for everyone in my small apartment complex from the moment I got home from school to usually 8–9 p.m. Ages ranged from 4 months old to 12 years old, all at the same time. I had a consistent collection of five to nine kids surrounding me.”

“Sometimes I’d be woken up by one of the older kids because they were just dropped off, and they were told to wake me up. I never saw the money because it either went straight to my mother or they never paid me. As I was telling my friend this, some guy at the table next to us said, ‘Well, women were born to have kids and be mothers, so you’re just failing at being a woman if you don’t have at least three of them for your husband.’ I felt so disgusted that I couldn’t finish my meal, and I haven’t been to that restaurant since. I’m not even married! There is no ring on my finger! He just assumed I wasn’t being a good wife to a non-existent husband!”

—anonymous

27.And finally:

“I’ve been told, ‘What if your husband wants kids?’ To which I replied, ‘Why would I even date someone who wanted kids in the first place?’ Also, bold of them to assume I’d marry a man or anyone at all.”

Now I want to hear from you. If you’ve chosen to be child-free, what has been the wildest reaction from parents around you? Respond in the comments or anonymously via the form below.