14 Things People Do When They’re Jealous of You

We’ve all been there: you’re just doing your thing, living your life, and suddenly you notice someone acting a bit off around you. You might brush it off, thinking you’re overanalyzing. But then, you start picking up on little signs that scream one thing: jealousy. It’s not the most comfortable situation to be in, but understanding these behaviors can help you navigate the sometimes tricky waters of jealousy.

1. They Downplay Your Successes

When someone’s jealous, they tend to brush off your achievements as no big deal, even when they are. You might share a proud moment, like a promotion or a personal milestone, and they’ll respond with something like, “That’s cool, but anyone can do that.” This reaction stems from their insecurity; by minimizing your success, they’re trying to make themselves feel better. According to Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, a professor of psychological and brain sciences, dismissing others’ success helps the jealous person maintain their self-esteem. So, while it might sting in the moment, remember that their reaction has more to do with them than you.

Another tactic is comparing your achievements to those of others in a way that undercuts your success. Instead of acknowledging your hard work, they might say, “Well, so-and-so did the same thing but faster.” This constant comparison is a defense mechanism, shielding them from confronting their feelings of inadequacy. You might find it annoying, but recognizing it as a sign of jealousy can help you not take it personally. It’s a reminder to focus on your journey and not let someone else’s insecurities bring you down.

2. They Imitate You

Imitation can be flattering, but when it crosses into the territory of jealousy, it feels a bit different. You might notice that they start adopting your style, mimicking your mannerisms, or taking up the same hobbies. While it’s great to inspire others, when someone is doing this out of jealousy, it’s more about them trying to replicate your perceived success. They believe that by stepping into your shoes, they might capture some of the magic they think you possess. It’s subtle, but their intent is less about admiration and more about competition.

This behavior can be tricky to deal with because it might initially seem like they’re just interested in the same things. But over time, it can feel like they’re trying to erase what makes you unique. Instead of being bothered, see it as a compliment to your individuality. It’s also a chance to set boundaries if it starts to impact you negatively. By understanding their actions come from a place of insecurity, you can handle the situation with more empathy and less irritation.

3. They Give Backhanded Compliments

You know the type: compliments that sound nice but leave you feeling worse. Phrases like “You’re so brave to wear that,” or “It’s impressive how you manage with what you have,” are common examples. These comments are crafted to seem supportive but are designed to highlight a perceived flaw. According to psychologist Dr. Steven Stosny, backhanded compliments are a way for jealous individuals to express their envy while still appearing polite. The goal is to make themselves feel superior by subtly undermining you.

It’s tough to know how to respond because calling them out can seem confrontational. One approach is to ignore the hidden jab and thank them, focusing on the positive aspect of the compliment. This can neutralize their attempt to put you down and shift the power dynamic. You can also use humor to diffuse the situation and show you’re unfazed by their words. Over time, they may realize these tactics aren’t effective and might either stop or reveal their true feelings.

4. They Spread Rumors About You

A classic move born out of jealousy is starting rumors or gossip. When people can’t compete with you directly, they often resort to undermining your reputation. They might spread false or exaggerated stories in an attempt to turn others against you or paint you in a negative light. It’s a way for them to feel like they have some control over your success. While it’s hurtful, remember that people who truly know you will see through these tactics.

Dealing with rumors isn’t easy, but staying calm and composed is your best defense. Address any concerns directly with the people who matter, and don’t waste energy trying to chase every piece of gossip. Often, rumors die out when they don’t get the reaction the instigator hoped for. Be confident in your truth and let your actions speak louder than words. In the end, your integrity and character will shine through, and people will see the rumors for what they are.

5. They Celebrate Your Failures

When someone is jealous, they might secretly (or not so secretly) rejoice when things don’t go your way. You might notice an extra spring in their step when you face a setback, or they might be suspiciously quick to bring up your failures in conversation. This behavior provides them with a sense of relief; it’s a reminder that you’re not perfect. Dr. Melanie Greenberg, a clinical psychologist, explains that seeing someone they envy fail temporarily boosts their self-esteem. It’s an unhealthy coping mechanism, but it’s a common one among those who feel threatened by others’ success.

Instead of getting drawn into their negativity, focus on what you can learn from your setbacks. Failure is a part of growth, and how you handle it speaks volumes about your resilience. Acknowledge your feelings, but don’t dwell on their reactions. Use these moments as motivation to push forward and prove to yourself, not anyone else, what you’re capable of. Over time, they’ll see that your determination is stronger than their satisfaction with your missteps.

6. They Avoid You

Sometimes, jealousy manifests as avoidance. You might notice that someone who used to be close to you suddenly starts keeping their distance. This could be because being around you reminds them of their own insecurities and unfulfilled ambitions. It’s easier for them to steer clear than confront these feelings. While it might feel personal, it’s important to remember that their avoidance has more to do with their internal struggles than anything you’ve done.

If you value the relationship, try reaching out to them in a non-confrontational way. Sometimes, a simple conversation can clear the air and help them feel supported rather than threatened. On the other hand, if they continue avoiding you, it might be best to give them space to process their feelings. Focus on nurturing relationships where mutual support and understanding are present. In doing so, you’ll surround yourself with positivity and authenticity.

7. They Compete With You

If someone is always trying to one-up you, it’s a classic sign of jealousy. They might insist on turning every conversation into a comparison or a competition, even when it’s unnecessary. This behavior is rooted in their need to validate themselves by outperforming you. According to research by Dr. Robert B. Cialdini, social comparison is a common tactic used by those who feel inadequate, as it helps them gauge their own worth against others. While it can be frustrating, understanding their motivation can help you react with more patience.

Instead of getting sucked into their competitive games, focus on collaborative interactions. Encourage discussions that emphasize teamwork rather than individual accolades. By redirecting the focus, you can foster an environment where everyone feels valued. If their behavior persists, it might be worthwhile to have an open conversation about how their actions make you feel. In the end, being direct and honest often leads to better understanding and resolution.

8. They Offer Unsolicited Advice

Jealousy can sometimes manifest as a constant stream of advice you didn’t ask for. This person might present themselves as an expert in areas where you’re thriving, eager to point out what you could be doing better. Their advice often comes across as condescending or critical, thinly veiled as helpfulness. This behavior is a way for them to assert superiority, making them feel like they’re still in control. While it might be tempting to snap back, remember that their comments are more about them than about your capabilities.

Handling unsolicited advice can be tricky, but setting boundaries is key. You can politely acknowledge their input without committing to it. A simple, “Thanks, I’ll consider that,” can go a long way in maintaining your peace. It’s also okay to express gratitude for their concern while gently reminding them that you’re comfortable with your choices. Over time, they may recognize that their advice isn’t needed and back off.

9. They Act Overly Nice

Sometimes, jealousy is masked by excessive niceness. This person might go out of their way to be overly complimentary or helpful, but something about their demeanor feels off. It’s as if they’re trying too hard to convince you (and themselves) that they’re not bothered by your success. They may think that by being overly nice, they can disguise their real feelings and maintain the peace. However, their exaggerated friendliness often comes across as insincere or forced.

Recognizing this behavior can be challenging, especially if you’re someone who naturally sees the good in people. It’s important to trust your instincts when something feels off. You don’t have to reciprocate the excessive niceness, but you can still be polite and maintain your boundaries. Over time, their true intentions might come to light, and you can decide how to proceed. Remember, genuine relationships are built on authenticity, not pretense.

10. They Criticize You Publicly

Jealousy can sometimes lead individuals to publicly criticize or undermine you. They might do this subtly, with jokes or sarcastic remarks, or they could be more direct, openly pointing out your mistakes. This behavior is often an attempt to diminish your accomplishments in front of others, shifting the attention away from your success. It’s a tactic used to make themselves appear more knowledgeable or capable by comparison. While it can be hurtful, it’s important to stand your ground and not let their words define you.

Responding to public criticism requires a calm and measured approach. You can address their comment directly and confidently, correcting any misconceptions without being defensive. If the situation allows, lighthearted humor can diffuse tension and show that their words don’t impact you. It’s also helpful to reflect on whether their criticism has any merit, separating constructive feedback from jealousy-driven negativity. By maintaining your composure, you demonstrate resilience and strength in the face of adversity.

11. They Take Credit For Your Ideas

One of the more frustrating signs of jealousy is when someone tries to take credit for your hard work or ideas. They might present your thoughts as their own in meetings or take the spotlight for a project you led. This behavior is an attempt to align themselves with your success while sidelining your contributions. It can be infuriating, especially when it feels like your efforts are being erased. However, it’s crucial to address this situation professionally and assertively.

Start by keeping a clear record of your work and contributions, documenting your involvement in projects and meetings. When you notice someone taking credit, gently but firmly remind the group of your role in the achievement. It’s important to stay calm and avoid turning the situation into a confrontation. Focus on highlighting your accomplishments without disparaging others, reinforcing your position as a valuable team member. Over time, your consistent performance will speak for itself, making it harder for others to claim your success as their own.

12. They Sabotage Your Efforts

In more extreme cases, jealousy can lead to sabotage. This person might intentionally create obstacles or spread misinformation to hinder your progress. Their goal is to see you fail or struggle, believing that it will level the playing field. It’s a toxic behavior that can be incredibly damaging if not addressed. Recognizing this pattern is the first step, as it allows you to take proactive measures to protect your work and reputation.

Communicating openly with your team and superiors about your projects can help prevent miscommunications and misunderstandings. Keep detailed records of your work and interactions to ensure transparency. If you suspect sabotage, approach the situation with evidence and a calm demeanor. Addressing the issue professionally can deter future attempts and show that you’re aware of their actions. In the end, focusing on your integrity and resilience will help you overcome these challenges.

13. They Withhold Support

Jealousy can cause someone to withhold support or assistance when you need it most. Whether it’s failing to provide crucial information or simply not being there when you need a hand, their lack of support can be disheartening. This passive-aggressive behavior is often a way to assert control by making you feel isolated or unsupported. It’s a subtle yet powerful tactic that can impact your motivation and confidence.

To counteract this, build a network of supportive colleagues and friends who genuinely want to see you succeed. Communicate your needs clearly, and don’t hesitate to seek help from those willing to provide it. By surrounding yourself with positivity, you can maintain your momentum and counteract any negativity. Remember, you’re not alone, and there are always people who appreciate and support your goals. Focusing on these relationships can help you navigate the challenges of jealousy.

14. They Play The Victim

Some people express jealousy by playing the victim, making you feel guilty for your success. They might act as if your achievements are a burden or that you’re somehow responsible for their struggles. This behavior is manipulative, as it shifts the focus from your accomplishments to their perceived hardships. It’s a way for them to deflect attention from their own shortcomings and elicit sympathy from others.

Handling this situation requires a delicate balance of empathy and assertiveness. Acknowledge their feelings without taking on the responsibility for their happiness or success. Encourage them to focus on their own goals and offer support where appropriate, but don’t let their negativity cloud your achievements. By maintaining your boundaries and not getting drawn into their narrative, you can protect your well-being. Ultimately, it’s important to prioritize your peace and not let anyone diminish your accomplishments.