Lifestyle
Philadelphia woman in ‘tricky situation’ after her mom asked for $3,000 — from the grandkids’ savings account
Andrea, a wife and mother from Philadelphia, recently found herself in a high-stakes financial and emotional crossroads, caught between family loyalty, cultural expectations and a commitment to financial stability.
“I am in a really tricky situation,” Andrea shared during a recent call to The Ramsey Show. “My brother and my mom are asking me to [lend] my brother $3,000.”
The purpose of the request was to cover her brother’s business expenses.
But Andrea and her husband have been saving that money to try to pay down debt.
Here’s what Ramsey had to say to Andrea.
Ramsey Show Co-host Jade Warshaw posed an alternative suggestion.
“Why doesn’t she lend him the $3,000?” she asked the caller, referring to Andrea’s mother.
“Because she doesn’t have the money,” Andrea replied.
Dave Ramsey’s response? “Neither do you. You’re broke and in debt.”
But the plot thickened when Andrea revealed her mother’s solution: tapping into Andrea’s children’s savings.
“I talk to my mom sometimes, telling her we save money for the kids, right? So her idea was to take the money from the kid’s savings account to give my brother the $3,000,” she said.
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“She has a lot of ideas about what you should do with your money,” Warshaw noted, “Do you feel like you have to listen to what she’s asking you to do?”
Andrea hesitated, noting her brother once helped her early in her marriage, but that support came in the form of small items for her kids.
“That was not $3,000. That was a hundred dollars,” Ramsey said. “Because I got to tell you in my world, when grandma asked for the kids’ money for the brother, that means grandma needs to be smacked.”
Originally from Ecuador, Andrea noted that extended family support is a common expectation in her community.
Ramsey responded, “In your culture, it is more normal to share with extended family … but this is your household. And your household is separate.”
Cultural norms can shape financial habits, but limits are limits. Even with that understanding, Andrea expressed hesitation.
“My brother is more … resentful. If you tell him something that he doesn’t like … then he’s not going to talk to me,” she told the hosts.
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