People In Their 40s Are Sharing The Things People In Their 20s Don’t Realize Will Affect Them As They Age

Aging is an inevitable part of being alive — like, it’s kind of the whole deal.

And while gaining experience and learning about life firsthand is important, wisdom from those who have walked the walk before you is invaluable. Reddit user Better-Toe-545 recently asked, “People in their 40s, what’s something people in their 20s don’t realize will affect them as they age?” and responses were thoughtful, insightful, and inspiring for people of any age. Here are some of the best:

1. “Friendships. If you don’t invest in maintaining them in your 20s/30s, you’ll wake up one day in your 40s realizing it’s harder to build deep connections from scratch.”

—u/lovelopetir

2. “Being sedentary is as bad as smoking, drugs, alcohol, and bad nutrition. It adds up much more slowly, but it will backfire. Stay active and lean, and you’ll realize that you are physically better than most of the people out there.”

—u/Regular-Signal228

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3. “It’s OK to be single. You don’t need to be in a relationship. Surround yourself with good friends and a support network. Being with the wrong person can have a devastating effect on your life.”

—u/Kowai03

4. “Years go by a lot faster (and not in a good way) if you stop challenging yourself with new experiences. The more you’re comfortable putting yourself in positive but uncomfortable situations, the more years will still go by like they did in high school and not at warp speed.”

—u/ToddUnctious

“Here’s a tip that helped me with this. Keep a small journal and write down the highlights of every day. Doesn’t have to be long. Maybe two or three sentences. If you look back on it, you’ll realize how many things you just forgot and how much time actually passed.”

—u/EccentricEngineer

“My significant other’s grandmother had this saying: ‘Always keep tickets in the drawer.’ Essentially, what she meant was, always have something on the horizon that you’re looking forward to. This could be big things like a vacation, smaller things like going to the movies or a concert, or even cheaper, simpler things like having a friend over whom you haven’t seen in a while and cooking for them. If you keep this mentality, to always be looking forward to something and then something after that, it will slow things down and allow you to build anticipation, savor, and enjoy.”

—u/rideyourbike

5. “Everyone gets disabled at some point, even if temporarily (think recovering from surgery, broken limb, car accident, etc.). Enjoy your favorite things now because you may not be able to do them later. Your health and mobility are gifts.”

—u/CuriousEglatarian

6. “Be careful with your dependency on technology and social media. Once you hit your 40s, things that matter are integrity and authenticity, problem-solving skills, resourcefulness, and direct life experience. Once you pass 40, experiences of despair increase, and the highs get fewer and farther between. Stop consuming, stop following, stop watching, stop doom-scrolling. Put down your phone and get out and experience life directly. Make connections, show up, and pay attention to your friends. Trust me, when you’re in your 40s, what you did or didn’t do in your 20s starts becoming important. The route to the wisdom you have in your 40s and 50s starts when you’re in your 20s.”

—u/ElvishMystical

7. “That the shoes you wear every day matter long-term. Pick the wrong ones and you’re signing up for a large range of potential issues.”

—u/SunOne1

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8. “Age discrimination starts earlier than you think. You can say, ‘But we have laws against that.’ It doesn’t matter. It’s real and you’ll notice it more and more. Companies want people to fit in with their environment/culture. Larger companies generally have much more diversity, but smaller companies typically have younger people. There are little things you can do, like not putting your college graduation year on LinkedIn and things of that nature. But it’s still a reality one starts to experience more and more.”

—u/kl0

9. “Protect your hearing. Wear earplugs to live music events and don’t turn your headphones all the way up. Tinnitus is a bitch. It really sucks and there’s no cure.”

—u/endorrawitch

10. “As shocking as this is, your ability to save money is higher in your 20s. The older you get, the more commitments, events, and bills arrive, and even though you earn more, money is pouring out left, right, and center. I honestly saved more money at 20 than I can at 40, and that was with a part-time job.”

—u/Interesting-Bag2267

11. “Mental health — invest in it. Correct earlier trauma with a professional as soon as possible. I cannot emphasize this enough. The financial cost is high, but you will need every psychological resource you have to lead a good life. Not trying to paint a dark picture, life will be amazing sometimes, but a bitch other times. When we are young, we tend to underestimate the challenges. It’s rewarding and worth the challenge, but prepare yourself. In your 30s, you start to see people your age take the trajectory that some of their mistakes pushed them towards. In your 40s, there is way less room to correct the course.”

—u/Ok_Party_1645

12. “Injuries. Shit is cumulative.”

—u/CronkinOn

“To build on this, deferred health maintenance. I used to think, ‘Oh, I will take care of that when I have more money.’ Now those problems are the new normal, and money isn’t going to fix anything anymore.”

—u/Itchy_Artichoke_5247

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13. “Perimenopause is literally a second puberty. Except we’ve been living with our brains, hormones, and body for 30-plus years, and we’re very used to the way they work, so when any of them start acting differently, it’s scary. You have dryness everywhere (and I mean EVERYWHERE), you can’t find words, so you make up really interesting ones to explain the one you can’t find, mood swings, plus the simplest routines now seem monumental. And —AND— you have to hope you have a competent doctor who believes you and knows how to help. I cannot believe we were not warned, so my mission is to warn as many younger women as possible.”

—u/every1poos

14. “If you have a diet consisting mostly of junk food and too much sugar and say, ‘but I don’t gain weight!’ Gaining weight might be the least of your problems.”

—u/MumpitzOnly

“Similar with alcohol. I had a high-functioning alcohol addiction for a long time. Had a good job, met all my family obligations, but was hitting the bottle most nights and weekends. I think with alcoholism, you often expect the consequences to be external. A DUI, a lost job, ruined relationships, etc. But no, it was my insides that were going bad, very close to liver failure.”

—u/TheDude-Esquire

15. “I am 45, and so many people who were important in my life are dead. All my grandparents, many aunts and uncles, my parents are getting older and slower, and it’s a little scary. It’s not all bad, and I am happy to be alive at 45, but at this age, expect many people you know to be dead.”

—u/Samisoy001

“What you aren’t prepared for in your 20s is grief. It’s one of the most impossible things to pre-plan for, but once your beloved teachers, mentors, favorite actors, and other people over 65 start dying, you will have to deal with it. Prepare healthy coping strategies now; that’s all you can really do. Cultivate a healthy mental state as soon as possible. And I don’t recommend whisky; it may be cheaper than a therapist, but it doesn’t work as well.”

—u/wakattawakaranai

16. “Dentist here. The single biggest piece of advice I can give is to make sure you brush your teeth before you go to bed. That is the most important time. You will have fewer cavities brushing once per night than you would if you brush 20 times a day, but go to bed with food on your teeth. That, and get X-rays taken. Most severe cavities have no symptoms, and you can’t see them without X-rays.”

—u/Donexodus

“Biting your nails wears down tooth enamel that you can never get back!!”

—u/Material-Ad5746

17. “Bad financial decisions. If you don’t wrap your head around your finances, they will haunt you throughout all of your adult life. Making minimum payments on your credit card debt won’t make it go away. Taking out another student loan to continue school because you’re ‘lost’ won’t magically give you a lucrative job. Spending all of your money because you have to ‘live a little’ will steal years from you later down the line.”

—u/GimmeNewAccount

18. “Stress ages people, so be mindful of what you stress over. A lot of things people stress over really aren’t that important.”

—u/Jane_bond_OO7

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19. “The sun! Wear your sunscreen, hat, and sunnies! “

—u/theopeppa

“I never wore sunscreen in the ’80s and ’90s. I have fair skin, would get a few bad burns early in the summer, and think I was fine. Fast forward to my ’30s, and I had a golfball-sized piece of my face removed due to skin cancer.”

—u/brandonboydace

20. “Bending over and making a sound effect you didn’t mean to— I thought only grandpas did that, but nope, it sneaks up on you earlier than you think.”

—u/Better-Toe-545

21. “Marry someone based on thoughtful connection and not hormones. Also, having more children is not marriage therapy.”

—u/duoexpresso

22. And finally, “It will always feel like you haven’t really grown up or become a real adult yet.”

—u/mizturemla

Do you have any advice that you didn’t see on this list? Tell me in the comments, or use the anonymous form below! Your response may be featured in an upcoming BuzzFeed article!

Note: Responses have been edited for length/clarity.

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