Neurodivergent People Are Sharing The Things They Thought Were Totally Normal Until Someone Else Told Them Otherwise

Reddit user u/Bananasandaledwors recently asked, “Fellow Autistic/ADHD people of Reddit, what did you think was normal for a long time until you realized it wasn’t?”

Hundreds of people in the ASD, ADHD, and AuDHD communities shared their perspectives, and honestly, everyone should read this.

Here’s what 17 people said:

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1. “Not being able to feel awake for hours after sleeping, no matter how much I slept. It’s the opposite for going to bed and falling asleep.”

“Turns out y’all get some nice cortisol shots into your synapses right when waking up, and we ADHD’ers raw dog waking up with much less stress hormones. Sounds to me like neurotypicals are cheating.”

–legixs

2. “Being very attentive to details. I’d talk to people and then next week they’d forget the conversation that we had, but I’d remember every detail of it, down to what they were wearing that day.”

–DadOnHardDifficulty

3. “Strictly adhering to social norms and getting agitated when other people don’t. Turns out most people aren’t reciting and following a made up rule book in their heads constantly.”

–ninetysroyalty

4. “Eye contact. I was easily in my 30s before I even realized I should be making it. Still don’t think I do it right.”

–Hippy_Lynne

5. “I thought everyone was brutally honest and said what they meant and were direct with each other.”

–OhNoBricks

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6. “BRAIN NOISE. Apparently, a very large number of people don’t have a constant level of noise in their brain (whether it’s an internal monologue or some kind of background noise) unless they’re intentionally thinking.”

“Didn’t learn this until one of my friends looked at me like I was unhinged, and my other ADHD friend said her brain is only quiet when she’s medicated. I’ve never had a quiet brain.”

–TheGreatIndoorss

7. “When people talk about how much work sucks, it’s more metaphorical than I realized. Before getting medicated, work was literally physically painful.”

“I never mentioned it or anything, because I assumed when people were talking about how exhausting or killer work was, that was what they meant. I would have tricks like snacking or splashing my face with water to try to distract from or soothe the pain.”

–NecrophageForager

8. “Out of sight, out of existence. If I can’t see or hear it, I will forget it exists. This is typically in terms of things I don’t immediately want to do, like laundry, mowing the lawn, or even wanting to watch a certain movie later that isn’t in my hyperfixation.”

–Digitalstatic

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9. “Rehearsing conversations before I have to have them. Sometimes multiple versions. Other people are just merrily singing to music in their cars, and I genuinely thought they were doing this too!”

–Somefancypants21

10. “There is a massive urge in me to speak up when someone embellishes a story I know isn’t accurate. Something about exaggerating the reality of the situation really grinds my gears.”

“Turns out people don’t like that very much (not obvious to little me). I’m much better about not doing that now, but the urge is still there. It also helps to remind myself I don’t get every fact right at all times, I make plenty of mistakes.”

–redyellowblue5031

11. “Daydreaming about 90% of the time. The biggest one, though, was not being able to take in or remember what someone would say to me. I would push myself to focus on that person (if we were face-to-face) and what they were telling me.”

“I’d make eye contact and hear the words they were saying, but the words would just never stick (if that makes sense). It was so frustrating because it would make me look like I wasn’t listening or was being rude when really I was just honestly having a hell of a time recalling the information said to me.”

–RumHam24

12. “My inability to socialize with anyone my age. I was the kid who sat at the adult table because I couldn’t stand being stuck with the kids and their silly kid thoughts. I understood the adult conversations, and they were way more interesting to me, so I just assumed everyone was like that.”

–shroomsnstuff29

13. “Some people just magically know how much time has passed? And they keep track of that in their head? And they can set aside enough time to get ready and arrive on time?”

“I thought it was totally normal to get wrapped up in something (reading a book, research deep dive, craft project, etc.) and suddenly realize it’s 3 a.m. and I completely forgot about dinner, and I really, really have to pee.”

–rezwrrd

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14. “My diet. I find comfort in eating the same thing every day for dinner. It usually cycles every 3 to 4 months once I randomly wake up and decide I don’t like that item anymore. Common ones include: grilled cheese, butter noodles, Texas toast, and cheese quesadillas. I just wrapped up my ‘grilled cheese era,’ and I’m entering back into butter noodles.”

“I’m in my late 20s, and when I started making friends, they were baffled as to why I did this. I explained that I find it really comforting to have this routine and structure. The idea of trying new foods when I already have foods I like doesn’t make sense to me. Why risk trying something and it tastes bad?”

–not_your_daughter_9

15. “The big one for me was rejection. I thought everyone had this gut-wrenching pain when someone said they didn’t want to hang out, or you get what your brain assumes is a dismissive text.”

“Turns out, no, that’s not normal. For me, it actually used to be so bad that it felt like my heart was actually hurting. I feel unhinged describing this.”

–starrykat_6

16. “Getting aches/fatigue from wearing normal clothes.”

–storagerock

17. “Putting off tasks until the absolute last minute, and not being able to start them earlier, no matter how hard you try. Unless it’s something that really interests you.”

–Frozen_Feet

What do you think? Let me know in the comments!

Note: Responses have been edited for length/clarity.

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