Lifestyle
Mom Organizes Adults-Only Dinner at ‘Elevated’ Restaurant, Then Friend Asks to Bring Baby
NEED TO KNOW
A mom shares that she hosts child-free dinners so her group of friends can enjoy rare nights out together
A new guest says she can only attend if she brings her 12-week-old baby and a stroller to the upscale restaurant
The poster asks Reddit if she’d be wrong to request that the dinner remain adults-only
A woman turns to the Reddit community for support after finding herself in the middle of a delicate dinner party dilemma.
She explains that she has three young children of her own, but still believes there are times when “it is appropriate for grown-ups only.”
She says she loves her kids and spends plenty of time with them, thanks to working part-time, but she also values adult-only occasions.
“We occasionally get together for dinner to chat and catch up. These dinners are sans kids because: (1) we like to try restaurants that might have only an adult menu and ambiance; (2) we tend to go after bedtime; and (3) sitting at a dinner table listening to grownups chit-chat seems incredibly tedious for a child,” she shares.
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Stock photo of two women talking at dinner
Her group of friends all have young children as well, with 11 kids total among them, all ages 6 and under. But when they meet for dinner at night, it is a chance for everyone to enjoy a quiet meal, try new restaurants and reconnect without interruptions.
They’ve been planning to go to a new restaurant that feels like a treat. “We’re excited to try it out and catch up,” she explains, describing the restaurant as having “an elevated menu and setting.”
The issue arose when a friend named A invited another woman, B, whom the poster has never met. B is the mother of a preschooler and a 12-week-old baby, and mentioned that she can only attend if she brings the baby along.
At first, the poster was happy to meet someone new and even adjusted the reservation to make space. But then she learned that B had already called the restaurant to mention she’d be bringing a stroller, though she didn’t get an answer.
That detail gave the poster pause. “Personally, I’d like it to be just a grown-up dinner,” she explains. “For a few reasons: (1) the restaurant has a small floor plan and bringing a stroller could impede traffic; (2) this isn’t a kid-friendly restaurant; (3) reservations are hard to come by and I have a feeling other diners probably don’t want to hear a crying baby while they’re enjoying a night out; and (4) it’s just distracting.”
The rest of the group went silent on the text chain, leaving the poster feeling like she needed to step in since she was the one who organized the dinner. While she understands what it’s like to be in B’s shoes, she is torn on what to do.
“On the one hand, I’ve definitely been on the other side of this — just having a baby can be very isolating and the need for adult interaction is strong,” she writes.
“On the other hand, I also understood that some things I’d have to say no to, or plan a more appropriate outing, say lunch or coffee,” she adds.
She is now stuck between not wanting to exclude someone and still hoping the evening stays true to its original purpose. “WIBTA if I asked B not to bring the baby or, alternatively, finding childcare?” she asks the community.
The poster even notes that B doesn’t plan to bring her older child, which makes her assume that childcare is already in place for one of them. “I was going to suggest a few babysitters I could reach out to for her. But that seems a little passive-aggressive,” she writes.
Her biggest concern is whether the night will be enjoyable for anyone if a baby is added to the mix. “I don’t want her to feel excluded, but at the same, I just don’t know how enjoyable this would be for everyone (B included)!” she writes.
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Stock photo of a woman holding a baby
Other Reddit users stepped in to share their perspectives, reminding her that she is the organizer and that the rules of these dinners have been consistent.
“You set up the dinner and it’s been clear these are adults-only nights for a reason,” one user replied. “Babies are a whole different vibe, even if they’re quiet, and it changes the dynamic.”
Another commenter suggested that she approach the situation with tact by reaching out privately to the mutual friend who extended the invite.
“You should text the friend that invited B along privately and ask her to let her friend know that this is an adult only event,” they wrote. “Let her know she’s welcome to come along on a future play date with the kids or something more appropriate. And she’s welcome to come along if she’s able to leave the baby with someone.”
Caught between wanting to be kind and wanting to preserve the spirit of the gathering, the poster weighs her options.
Read the original article on People