Younger Generations Revealed What They Want Older Generations To Stop Doing, And It Might Be Hard To Hear

We recently asked the Gen Z’ers and millennials of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us what they wish their parents and older generations should know or stop doing — and honestly, it might be hard to hear, but the message is so, so important. Here’s what they had to say:

1.“I think older generations should stop running for political office.”

—nightingales252

“You ruined the housing market. You ruined politics. You ruined education. And now you’re mad that we’re trying to fix it all, and you’re upset with change.”

—hermitkrabbypatty

2.“Older generations should stop staying, ‘No one/this generation doesn’t want to work anymore’ when lines are long or a business is short-staffed. It’s not that the younger generations don’t want to work. We are unwilling to let our jobs/careers take precedence over living our lives. Salaries are negotiable; time is not.”

—Anonymous, 34, Arizona

3.“We’re not exaggerating about the hopelessness of the cost of living. Buying a home now is genuinely more difficult than it was in the Great Depression. Our wages genuinely do not cover our skyrocketing food costs. We are struggling more than you ever did, and we’re tired of being told we’re being dramatic. All we want is to be comfortable. Not rich, just comfortable.”

“But even that is hard when inflation is out of control, and old people keep raising the bar for comfortable living that they’re never going to have to suffer for.”

—Anonymous, 22, Oregon

4.“STOP TELLING US TO HAVE KIDS!!! If we say we don’t want any, assume we mean it! Don’t tell us, ‘Oh, someday you’ll change your mind,’ or ‘It’s better to have kids than to end up alone.’ PLEASE, I’M BEGGING. Respect our opinions, and know that our world shapes our views differently than it might’ve shaped yours.”

—a_117

“A ‘good life’ is no longer defined by marriage, a white collar job, and a white picket fence with two kids and a dog. I think many of us just want to be happy and find something that fulfills us and gives us a sense of purpose. As long as someone’s being a decent human, it’s not my or anyone else’s place to judge them or define their worth. If a person is happy and fulfilled being single and childless, let them be happy — stop bugging us to get married and give you grandchildren. We don’t owe you grandchildren. You calling our generations ‘entitled’ is the pot calling the kettle black.”

—Anonymous, 37, Illinois

5.“I once quit a job before having a new one lined up because of sexual harassment. My boomer father’s response was to call me a ‘snowflake’ and that I needed to ‘just get used to it.’ Sexual harassment is unacceptable, and I refuse to be told otherwise.”

—superadmiral32

6.“Xennial here. Older generations have a lack of investment in the future of our children. My parents have ample leisure time, own their retirement home, and actively volunteer in their community, but they seem to feel little responsibility for their grandchildren. They only have two. They live half an hour away but only see them for an afternoon every few weeks. Our relationship is good, but they don’t put in much for their grandkids and don’t seem to care much about the world they’re being left with.”

“When I talk about climate change, they say things that are so ambivalent. They will also cancel plans with us if they have other plans they’d rather attend with friends they have only known a year or two. My grandparents were from the GI and Silent Generations, and I totally saw them as secondary parental figures. I spent weeks with them every year as a child. I think many millennials feel very alone as adults with far fewer resources — and the baby boomers, in particular, couldn’t be bothered!”

—sportypony353

7.“Stop telling us that we could afford a house if we just learn to ‘sacrifice like they did,’ blaming our financial woes on extravagant living rather than the increase in the disparity between wages and the cost of living over the last 50 years. I have a 13-year-old small sedan that is paid off, and I haven’t been on a plane (or more than 500 miles from home) since 2005. All vacations are camping or weekend road trips to budget motels. I follow a strict budget with NO DEBT, and all my income that doesn’t go to bills goes directly into savings, HSA, or 401k. I have a good professional career, and I still can’t save enough for a decent downpayment with these housing prices.”

“I have a good professional career, and I still can’t save enough for a decent downpayment with these housing prices.”

—Anonymous, 39

8.“Millennial here. I wish the older generation would consciously try to get to know younger generations. My parents, for example, think that everything my grandmother recommended is the only right answer and won’t listen to new ideas or realize outdated information doesn’t always work anymore. I try to get to know the generations younger than myself (Gen Z/Alpha) because some of their ideas or insights can improve life — like not living to work but working to live, normalizing therapy, etc.”

“Older generations, please listen to what younger generations have to say instead of saying, ‘Well, back in my day’ or ‘Kids these days.’ No, stop!”

—Anonymous, 34, New York

9.“I wish they would stop thinking they’re owed anything just for ‘being nice’ to you.”

—jamiedoesntknow

10.“My parents seem to think you can take a pile of your CVs around town, hand them out, and have a job by the end of the day. They don’t understand the job market isn’t what it once was — no matter how much we want to work!”

—lemonkitty

11.“Please at least try to learn the technology if you are working age. Millennial here. My coworker is around the same age as my mother. We keep our important documents, the ones we use every day, electronically in Excel and mostly in Teams. My coworker REFUSES to use the Excel document to track and update. She handwrites her own. I discovered this yesterday when she talked about changes, and I had no idea what they were.”

“Then, of course, she gets pissed off when the digital copy is ‘wrong!’ AND doesn’t understand why we need the digital one. It reminds me so much of my mother. I am ready to completely lose it.”

—modernoctopus534

12.“They should know we’re not some one-trait hivemind. When my age or generation gets brought up in conversation, so many boomers and Gen X’s minds default to the worst possible stereotype: ‘All Gen Z’s are lazy, think this way, vote that way…’ and it’s not true. There is so much more to a person’s character than their birth year, and it’s time we see each other as individuals rather than numbers and groups.”

—Anonymous, 18, California

13.“Older generations should know just how to be normal in a retail environment. I’ve worked retail since high school, and the amount of older people who act nasty towards me is wild. They’ve had jobs. They should know what it’s like when I say, ‘Honestly, I don’t know because that’s not what they trained me for.'”

“They were young once. They should know what having a first job is like and the anxiety and confusion that comes with working with people. And the constant, ‘Well, if it didn’t ring up, it must be free’ jokes make me crash out every time.”

—Anonymous, 22, USA

14.“In business, I find that many people from older generations have the mentality ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,’ which also makes them very resistant to change. Things don’t need to be broken to be improved, though — we could still be using typewriters, fax machines, and paper paychecks. Fortunately, we now have computers, email, and direct deposit. If you’re not on board for innovation, that’s fine, but at least stop standing in the way.”

—Anonymous, 37, Illinois

15.“Stop buying investment properties and investing in private housing equities. Our ability to live in our own homes is completely destroyed by your ‘retirement investments.'”

—Anonymous, 31, Arizona

16.“Older generations should know that we’re not just your kids; we’re also adults who have seen a lot of things, been through a lot of things, and learned a lot of things along the way. You will gain nothing if you continue to see and treat us as the children we once were, not for who we are now and what we’ve grown up to be.”

—Anonymous, 34, USA

17.“I wish older generations would stop blaming people for being unemployed. You can’t make someone hire you, and it took me *years* to unlearn the idea that I’m a moral failure for not having a job despite my best efforts.”

—Anonymous, 31, USA

18.“Quit giving advice on how to deal with pretty much anything financial or political. Previous generations failed to address the most serious issue destroying the quality of life for our generation: the unbridled greed of the wealthy and their never-ending ploy to get wealthier, ruining the lives of those who aren’t.”

“These older generations ended up normalizing the wealthy, bribing (lobbying) politicians to enable them to get wealthier by ruining the lives of everyone who isn’t. Too many of them were into worshipping the wealthy to the point of allowing them to nullify decades of laws and statutes meant to keep their greediness in check, offers blind as long as they say they encouraged hating those who don’t look, live, or pray like them, too. In reality, they should have banded with those who weren’t wealthy, no matter how different they were, to stop their assault on the quality of life of all Americans and never allow the wealth gap to end up what it is now.”

—Anonymous, Washington, DC

And finally…

19.“Older generations: Remember that all generations that come after you are only what YOU make them. The politicians you voted for, the school referendums you approved or denied, the lifestyle you led, and the ways you raised your kids all contributed to how the younger generations live and deal with the fallout. Give some grace.”

—Anonymous, 40, Wisconsin

“Know that when I am raging against the problems your generation left us with, I am raging against people who caused those problems. I’m not attacking Vietnam Protesters, Freedom Riders, Anti-Pollution Advocates, or the Jimmy Carter/Walter Mondale Voters. It does suck. I know that as a millennial. Whenever I see a boomer acknowledge that their cohort mates screwed us over, it is such a feeling of relief. I think that’s what most of us want, at least — an acknowledgment that things are messed up, and most of it happened before we were born.”

—deadpanclown49

Fellow Gen Z’ers and millennials, what are some other things you want older generations to know? Tell us in the comments below. Or, if you prefer to remain anonymous, feel free to use this Google form.

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.